Friday, 4 April 2014

Laying low

Tomorrow is a tricky day for me, today I am out of sorts.

I am laying low for a couple of days, please forgive me as I probably will not be commenting on any of your posts.

I probably sound like I am being dramatic, and I probably am.

3 years ago



I miscarried a baby 18 years ago, it's odd that despite me having no evidence of that life I spend a day devoted to acknowledging it.  I will buy something or create something, and for a brief moment I have a tangible piece of it's life, and I can hold it.
Grief cannot be cured,
but for me, this little life, no matter how brief it was, is commemorated.

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If this post has caused any distress, I apologise profusely

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44 comments:

  1. I am deeply sorry to learn of the grief you're going through.
    My thoughts are with you all on this saddest of days.
    Sending you hugs and lots of love xx

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    1. Thank you Yvonne, it's very much appreciated x x x

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  2. Hello Sandra,

    How very brave of you to post this. The grief you share here can surely be recognised by so many and on such very sad occasions it is, perhaps, of some comfort to know that one is not alone.

    Your sand sculpture is beautiful and it is a lovely idea that you will create something in commemoration tomorrow. We do firmly believe that the dead do remain part of one's life provided that they are talked about and remembered. However brief or long that life may have been, the sadness still remains in one's heart.

    Be kind to yourself. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

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    1. Thank you Jane and Lance, your words, thoughts and prayers mean a lot x x x

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  3. I send you much love from my heart .... from mother to mother.

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  4. I'll be thinking of you ... take care
    xx

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  5. I'm so sorry for your loss and your pain. Sending you hugs.
    xo

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  6. There's no need to apologize. I think it's fitting that you commemorate that short life and make it meaningful in your life today.

    The sand sculpture is beautiful.

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  7. Be as dramatic as you wish, grief affects us all in different ways. Much love to you. xxxx

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  8. How terribly sad. You will be in my thoughts.

    bisous
    Suzanne

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  9. Dear Sandra, you are such a beautiful, warm, soulful woman, with such a rich life - loving husband, adorable daughters and your huge kind and compassionate heart! Even for a brie moment, your baby was touched by you, and something in this world was changed forever. You created such a beautiful work of art. Your whole life is a work of art. Please take care of yourself. Create. Live. Grieve as much as you need. And some day, let go. Love and hugs!

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    1. Thank you Natalia for your kind words x x x

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  10. Take your time, Sweetie. A lot of us have been there.

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    1. Thanks Connie, I feel for any woman who have experienced it x x x

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  11. Oh Sandra, I'm sorry you feel so sad. I had a miscarriage too, before Claudia was born, and though I can't pretend to still feel such grief over it now, it was very hard at the time. So many what ifs and might have beens...
    But I always think that if that baby had survived (and she couldn't because she had too many problems) our lives would have been completely different. And our kids might not be here, or they wouldn't be the same kids. You know?
    I hope your day of remembering and creating is helpful, it's a lovely tribute to what might have been. xxx

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    1. I'm sorry you lost one too, it must an over-whelming and difficult time for you both, I think some things aren't meant to be, which is very sad x x x and thank you x x x

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  12. Oh, Sandra. :( I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what losing a child is like or how heart-breaking it must be for you and your family, I can only imagine that it's a loss that nobody would ever be able to forget or recover from, and it's not stupid of you to remember and commemorate that life each year. That little one was a part of you. Sending hugs and lots of love your way, you brave lady xx

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    1. Thank you Louise for your kindness and sweet words x x x

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  13. Oh sweetie I feel your pain, I lost three babies before my eldest and one in between the boys, so four in total. I have often thought of how old they would have been and would one have been a girl. You a right, nothing to show for them, just how we feel. Hence why I had my tattoo last year. Because my Angel babies meant something to me and always will. Do what you need to do this is about you and how you feel. Sending you warm hugs of understanding. xxxxxxx all the way from the other side of the world.

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    1. 4, oh Sue, that's so sad - I think it's beautiful you call them your Angel babies, they are always with us and I believe that we will see them again x x x

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  14. Oh my dear I do feel for you and your loss at this sad time for you , and I will be thinking of you !, with love ,hugs and kisses Les xxxxx.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words Lesley x x x

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  15. Sandra, my love and best wishes go out to you, across the seas, and if I could, I would give you a huge hug to let you know that whilst I cant share your pain, I can offer you support and let you know that others care. XXX

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    1. Thanks Brooke, it means a lot to me x x x

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  16. oh darling! Big hugs! having lost 3 myself (including Busby's twin) i feel your pain. hugs x

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    1. Oh Janey, I'm so sorry, it must have been a truly awful time for you, I send big hugs to you x x x

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  17. Sending much love sweet.......be small and quite.....time to remember........much love v

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  18. What a terribly sad thing to have to go through. Sending love and support.

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  19. I can't say that I understand what you have been through, but I am sending you all positive thoughts and love. I will say that I don't think you're being dramatic at all. Giant hugs xx

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  20. I'm so sorry for your loss xxx

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