Sunday 19 July 2015

Blooming heck

Hello there, it's been a while,  terribly sorry about that.

I'm in a funk right now, I'm so funky Rick James could slap some bass on me, play my tune and depress us all.
I haven't visited you, which is pretty bad form.  It is unusual and frankly ridiculous.  I'm riding this out, I'm fine. I'm just not the greatest communicator at times.

Poor Cookie had a massive eye infection,
it required an injection and oral medicine,

I turned 46

Miss middle child turned 14,
in those bags are anime cos-play items that now means she can defeat titans anytime anyplace

Vintage clip-on sunglasses, immaculately kept since the 50's, come into my possession, last a few weeks and die, this is why I can't have nice things

I watched the wrong tutorial on how to carry a clutch bag

I've been passing off nutella jars as legitimate glasswear for years,
I clearly am a visionary,
I predict watering cans as the next big thing

We said goodbye to our beautiful Chocolate,
we were all utterly devastated,
she was our family,
 she owned the garden and trained us humans well,
she was the most affectionate rabbit grande dame I ever met,
I'm so glad I did

Moonshine has been coping fairly well, the cats have been looking after her too

I'll be back in touch soon,

Saturday 13 June 2015

Moderation in moderation

Hello Lovely People! how are you? how have you been?

I am living a healthy lifestyle right now and am currently walking round with a face like a slapped arse.  Blah blah 'personal health responsibility' 'more salad' blah blah 'sensible choices' blah  'wants to live as long as possible' blah, blah BLAH! the only problem is I now want to have a debauched week in Aya Napa, stay up for as long as possible partying, which if I'm honest will be at the very latest, 1 am.  I have never even been to Aya Napa.  I went to a Butlin's Holiday Camp with the girls one time and the highlight was Black Lace, no horse riding because we were too fat and sleeping on a couch opposite my friends friend who snored like a marching army and had an imaginary boyfriend.

So my friends,
there is no more of this
*sad face*
disclaimer; when I say no more, we all know Saturday is obviously exempt
because ya know, Saturday

I'm handling it like a PRO

Water is so refreshing


Wearing daughters sports jacket which looks like a bolero,
a 'sports-a-lero'?


discalimer; I realise my sarcasm here maybe over-riding and exhaustive, please accept my apologies

I don't eat hamburgers, yet meaty cheesy goodness is calling me

I have even started a skincare routine,
my rough towel exfoliation and body butter on my face was making my skin cry

'Dave? DAVE? how do I know if I need mature skin moisturiser'


This is a brilliant sketch

The Uncensored Version

We had real, actual sunshine!
I can't sit in the sun,
I managed 4 whole minutes

Shall we?

My favourite look right now,
a sturdy black bra under delicate straps and a hair scarf to hide my bad hair do,
I'm so right now

I wanna dance,
like this...... obs
and always, always in a public place

The black sturdy bra is invisible, for a change

I will stand in the rain,
it really is one of my favourite things

I had a spot,
I didn't squeeze it,
I excavated it,

For anyone who may NOT have heard of Black Lace,

you will thank me

 if that was all a little too much,
here are some goslings

Take care AWESOME people,
thank you for your comments on my last post,
I always, always cherish them



Sources are from the internet, if they belong to you please get in touch for credit

Monday 1 June 2015

Red dress blues

Hello there! how are you? it's June! how did that happen?

After free-styling my dresses I have come to the painful conclusion I need to buy a dress pattern.  I have bought one before, a 'very easy to sew' in the wrong size (they have different sizes! who knew?) and I spent days flummoxed over the complicated everything, but then, I can't read maps, nor can I follow instructions.  Actually I don't have a sense of direction either, once upon a time my brother and I drove to a part of Liverpool we weren't familiar with, got lost and almost ended up in North kidding.

Look at Austin Powers face behind me!
perfect timing,

My absolute nemesis is making a dress bodice

my darting gave me pneumatic boobs 

they were ironed out and this is the final dress,
hat chazzed for 1 whole pound and an old belt
(petticoat has been pinched from youngest daughter who doesn't wear it so technically it's mine)

'posing cat  school of excellence'

loves bags

Queen Cookie,
likes to lick human noses, 
gets quite whiffy after eating cat food. 

My 3 friends
meet coriander/lime/ chilli salsa, pesto and chimichurri,
and my new julienne stripper

possibly the reasons why my waist hasn't shrunk,
despite not eating bread (so, so cruel)
I'm whacking that stuff on everything else.
I like food.

Also currently obsessed with Rachel Khoo,
she is divine,
 I can watch food programmes all day long
I like looking at food, I like eating food and I like thinking of food.

Half-term and our 1 day out!
1 day!
teenage sloth has permeated the house,
activities include 'chilling'
..............actually that's pretty much it

Some of my knitwear,
gone to the loft,
Summer will be arriving soon!

Giving my hair and skin a break,
wearing 2 types of fake hair here

Love me some fresh flowers

My clip-ons

Chazzed - immaculate, brand new and £6.50!!!!!!!!!!1

Ms Rachel Khoo,
even her kitchen is fabulous

Finally, a big Thank you for all of your lovely comments on my last post!!!

see you soon!!

Saturday 23 May 2015

Peaches guide to Gameshow Etiquette

Hello Gorgeous! how are you? I hope everything is good.

After a mammoth epic adventure I'm well and truly knackered, but I promise I'll be round soon.  I can't tell you anything about our 'Pointless' appearance *gah* as we signed a contract. However, I can tell you what not to do if you ever want to appear on a game show.

1.  Please remember left and right.   You may need to step to one side as your partner will need to answer a question, I simultaneously forgot how to move as well as forgetting left/right. Dave had no option but to shove me out of the way.
2.  Remember you will be wearing a microphone.  When you whisper to your partner you need to burp, then triumphantly announce you have.  It will not be a private moment.
3.  Deciding to wipe your teeth just as the co-host approaches and having an awkward 'I can't shake your hand/limply clutches co-host's fingers with wrong hand' as I have saliva on my shaking hands hand.
4.  Wear comfortable shoes.......please, please wear comfortable shoes.
5.  Remember to put lipstick on.  The make-up artist lined my lips and filled them.  I was meant to use my lippy, then forgot.
6.  Remain focused.  Those damn lights are shiny and distracting.

We had an amazing time, I confess I'm not a natural in front of the camera, but I laughed, a lot.  Our group were hilarious.  My make-up had to be re-touched 4 times.  My cats-eye wings were constantly on my cheeks.  They were damn fine people.  I thank you.

This is how much luggage I packed for us and also for the children who stayed at our parents for 2, I repeat 2 nights.

2pm - the adventure begins


Tell me again why I can't have a chaise longue, when one of my gifts in life is to recline extremely well,

Filming day
not bricking it AT ALL

The Studio

The journey home,
thank goodness for my daughters Chucks,
 poor swollen ankles,
my feet were in bits

Almost home,

at this point we are exhausted.
At the end of our journey a man gets Dave's attention. he shows Dave his phone.
On it he has written an incredibly sweet tribute to Dave and I. His observation of us as a couple. About our positivity and affection to each other.
His name is Ali, a father of 3 and a very, very nice man.
We thanked him, 
I was truly over-whelmed by such a sweet gesture.

Despite being totally knackered, Dave had a day off work so off out we went.
I'm channeling Cannes,
as you do

The Victoria Gallery and Museum,
also the corner of Liverpool Universtiy,
breath-takingly beautiful

I pledge to Stay Classy and always, ALWAYS take bathroom selfies

A quick chazza visit score, £3.49

My latest project

I'd like to say
A BIG THANK-YOU for all of your kindess and support!!!
you rock my world,