Friday, 27 September 2013

Moonstruck eggs

I love the film Moonstruck, it's such a film of love, passion and discovery.  Nicholas Cage's seduction of Cher is memorable, his passion for music is palpable and intoxicating. 
In the final scene, Olympia Dukakis cooks breakfast and makes eggs meanwhile affairs end and love begins, food is central to the drama.

Today I felt like some Moonstruck eggs for breakfast
It's a bizarre craving, but sometimes it is only this that I want. And some music.

Yesterday, I  discovered my camera has a timer
The time was going to come where my lot would be bored with my prancing around getting photo's
State of the art tripod
practising on a 2 second timer
Jacked up on caffeine, in anticipation of my late shift
I'm on my own!
I had a blast, and felt liberated in my photographic independence
Cookie is never impressed with my nonsense
and shows me how to do it
I realise my pictures are pretty bad
2 seconds means I do this a lot
and this
This is best I've got!
 I can't quite comprehend just how much joy I feel through learning something so simple
but I do
While I am on a roll
I am on a Tracy Ullman kick
hope it works

I hope you all have an amazing weekend
and a big Hello and welcome to those who are new
and if you feel like
let me know any of your tummy butterfly making films
see you soon

Tuesday, 24 September 2013

Tennessee, Jim and bleach

Meet my new chum, I predict lot's of fascinating adventures and good times (as long as he is on offer)
Rather than spend time and money choosing suitable partners I look for bargains or I eliminate a partner ruthlessly, based on previous bad experiences (dark rum 1989, never touched it since)
I rather like Jim
We have dallied before

my crafting quest continues
I found an old long sleeved 't' - I whipped off the sleeves and added a trim
'wunder-webb' is a 'wunder' indeed, it sorted the sleeves in seconds
I'm on a roll despite having the children take the mickey out of my fabulous creations
though 2 of the cheeky monkeys want a knitted headband with a bow
and the eldest wants a faux fur collar/cuff combo
the little blighters
Sunday, after a 9 hour shift
although I had left the house in a dreadful condition
Mr Foxy and children cleaned up, cooked and did everything
all I had to do was iron the uniforms
I look all graceful, which is  most unusual as I lack any finesse
 we have books everywhere
I found a book and took it to work, Mr Foxy gave it to me 16 years ago
Katherine Mansfield Short Stories (never got round to reading it, ahem)
I really tried
and she is a literary legend apparently
but it depressed me no end

I love 'A Streetcar named Desire'
blinking good read
 my literary choices are ridiculous most of the time
Ha! he doesn't advocate bleach so I thought screw that
Its a Q&A book, I am endlessly fascinated by the questions
'Do you know how to deal with a dirty acoustic tile ceiling?'
'Is there a line between clean enough and too clean?
'how can I develop a positive attitude to housework? the author would rather clean than ski, fish, play darts or eat.  Really, feck that
'what are the best clothes to clean in? apparently wear white and wear plimsolls
Stepford wife
 but I like my pretty vintage apron, it has pockets!
I gave this book to Missy
I thought it looked like a fun book
I didn't read anything other than the back
Rule 3 was cute
BIG mistake, big mistake.... huge
(I do like a 'Pretty Woman' quote)
 I flicked through it, I am an idiot
turns out it wasn't an appropriate read for a 12 year old
She didn't read it all (Thank heavens) and breezily said 'It's ok, I didn't read those bits' 
 I got a little stressed
after reading the chapter myself
 Oh. My. Gah.
I can't even begin to tell you.
Lesson learned though
I'm off to tackle the upstairs bathroom
see you soon
stay awesome!
I do like the word 'awesome'
au revoir

Friday, 20 September 2013

My mojo seems to be a collar

Maybe it was the realisation that wine no longer agrees with me that affected my mojo this week.  I have broken up with wine.  We are no longer an item.  It's over.
Obviously being a resilient type I am going to dally with another, I haven't decided yet, but tonight I will be having a few squiffies, it's Friday and the civilised thing to do.

It's getting colder too and I have been squirreling away marvellous chazza functional knitwear in anticipation of this.  As useful as they are they were a little plain, and I was most un-inspired.  I felt like Dolly Parton without her sequins or Joan Collins without her wigs.

Inspiration was scarce.

Wednesday Addams was my goal for work
this was 11.30pm
I am not impressed (or photogenic)

I had a plan
to tart up all the useful knitwear

I made something
it's a practise one
but I'm fecking chuffed
and got carried away

(my sign in the kitchen, my Dad liked it and said 'Bon Spaghetti', that's good!, he refuses to wear his glasses)

I found faux fur - I have spare faux fur!!!
It's from a fancy dress costume I made years ago
and it makes a mess

It was everywhere

I made this too!

Victorian? Elizabethan? don't know but I like it
I need to secure it though
The ribbon has has a previous life as the gusset of my straw bag

This frightened Cookie (our kitten)
This will be a turban
I have never made one but I think I know what to do

This is all scraps around the house, I have re-buttoned an old cardigan
and tomorrow me and Little Miss-ette are having a Mummy/Daughter day
we are going to the fabric shop
she wants to make 'Adventure Time' (cartoon) pillows
I am buying maribou to trim a jumper
, broderie anglaise to make a collar
 and angora wool to make a collar/cape thingy with pompoms

I feel at one with my inner craft self

I hope all of you wonderful people have an amazing weekend
may your mojo be at it's fill level and beyond

Monday, 16 September 2013

An Aunt of Magnificence

I have technology again and it is good, the 'Lappy man' (original name) saved the day.

Saturday was a busy one, a works day out hosted by Mr Foxy's work, free booze (5 drinks only), free food, free fun, free stuff, free, free, free..................for a small minimal charge of £15 per adult

days out with tummy bug (me)
free booze entitlement, except it wasn't really free
the most evil twister in the world
I normally love this ride
but. this. was. evil.
 the girls went on again and I couldn't look
It had a point of genuine terror
or maybe I'm a wuss
I once stopped a fairground ride because I screamed and wailed so much 'help me' 'I can't breathe' etc etc - I was 15
the girls are so cool and relaxed, Mr Foxy described the fear as all-consuming
The 'free' drinks came home with me
Saturday night was my Aunt and Uncle's 40th wedding anniversary, I have no pic's, but it was an amazing night for the 2 and a half hours we were there (I now work on a Sunday, yay, ahem)
My Great Aunt is awesome
tiny little thing, fuschia pink lippie HUGE hair and dressed fabulously and 84
She told us recently someone knocked at the door attempting to sell things
she didn't want them and asked him to leave
he stepped forward and began to be intimidating
and she got her Bitch on
arguing started
she kneed him and landed on top of him
he ran away
she also said she doesn't want to act her age
she rocks
Sunday I now work 11-8, this with a stomach bug
you know it's bad when you take air freshener in your bag to work
Today I took it easy, I seem to have infected everyone
so I made this
cake makes everything better
my boots and new/old faux fur tippet
'borrowed' by the eldest
I like my mantelpiece, it has a didgeridoo, a small granite pyramid  and non-matching things and flowers from my Mum, she knows I love them
I feel up-to date now
I hope you amazing lovelies are just wonderful
your comments are awesome and often hilarious
and all make me feel all warm and well
thank you

Friday, 13 September 2013

I take it as a complement being the Dragon!

Yes I do!,
 I am emblazoned on Mr Foxy's right calf as the Dragon and on his left arm, draped over his shoulders and twirled around the right arm.  I am protection around the names of our children and Mr Foxy and this is my face.

C'est moi!!, probably an accurate portrayal of my facial hair
this was 4 years of work
it is huge
and it's me!

I'm rather fond of her bitch face 
one day if Mr Foxy will allow, I will show you all of her majesty.

I tried purple hair again this week
this was promising
vibrant and everything
as I am the worst hairdresser ever (I cut my own hair with the latest design 'kitchen hack scissors')
I thought *fingers crossed* this will work


I can't even begin to tell you how many brands and how many colours I have tried.
My hair refuses to accept anything colourful
It's conservative, it's stubborn and this happens all the time, 20 years of dabbling and this!

and then our laptop decides to throw a hissy fit, rolls over and feigns illness
I have borrowed our eldest's laptop for my post and will be out of action until the laptop is resumed
my mobile doesn't do internet - pah!

In the absence of internet distractions, and watching some truly mind squashing daytime TV, I was in a scary position,  no distractions, what can I do? I was bored and then I opted to tidy up, I TIDIED UP! I voluntarily tidied up and became domesticated, and did housey things
and in a weird twist of the universe
has a fab post on Kitchen Couture
this is me, vintage apron (great things they cover the whole frock! arg! domestic advice, help me !!)

Bonus event, today was payday for me
I took Mr Foxy out for a pint of lager

I will catch up while I have an actual working laptop, 
If I don't reply to any sweet, lovely and fabulous comments, please don't be offended
I am in internet limbo
until the laptop works again! 
I hopefully will see you soon
much love

Monday, 9 September 2013

The Oldest Swinger in Town

There are many reasons why I love to go to the Charity shops
you never know what you will find, it could be a damn fine pair of shoes, a squeal worthy bag,
or vinyl LP's that are happiness

I couldn't bring this home

number 7
tickled me no end

but I labelled it 'inappropriate' darn it!

however I brought Dennis home with me, he has a handsome, luxurious moustache, dimples and a hot denim shirt,  there is wonderful commentary about Mr Weavers character on the back  'Dennis Weaver is the type of man I like to hang around', I liked that
and his song
'Make Love to Life'
I'm not sure how to, but I think it's right to get all hot and bothered about things you like
could be tea-towels, bird watching, poetry
I think passion and love for things we are passionate about and love is always good
I have the greatest passion and love for music (bowls and tea-towels) any, as long as I like it
I once went to see 'Madame Butterfly' at The Lowry' with Mr Foxy
in the cheap seats,  it was magnificent
the ending, which is beyond sad, had me be trying my best to control myself, it didn't work
I cry and it's ugly, snotty and snorting
no regal sniffles from me, couldn't be posh if I tried!

Chazza jumper, £2, I am rather smitten with the lace detail, very Victorian
its 2 sizes smaller than me,  I try and take no notice of sizings when in Chazza's
however I pushed it a little too far when I saw a coat of dreams, and it was! it had a tufty HUGE faux fur collar, belted, tweed skirted coat and for a brief deluded moment I thought 'yes!'
Missy threw it on while I was misty and mesmerised, 
and it fitted her, deluded indeed!

Success at the chazza's! we kind of had instant karma, as we dropped a bag of at Oxfam
we then we got a haul of goodies, party dress for Missy £1, 2 cutsey jumpers for Little Miss-ette for about £6, 1 was the softest angora hooded jumper with pom-poms, too sweet

another was a book, Alan Carr's biography, Mr Foxy thought it would be good for my first day at work as we are allowed to read in between calls.
At no point did I think this was a problem
Alan Carr is hilarious, funny and caused me at several points to snort

and then compose myself, and snort again
He described puberty as a time were most boys were blessed  overnight by the puberty fairy with chiseled chins and hairy chests, he was given moobs and the voice of a pensioner
funny, funny man

I hope you are all having a marvellous day
I hope whatever you are doing, you are having some fun
see you soon, you gorgeous lot


Friday, 6 September 2013

Training, Father Dougal and me

So, the dress code seems pretty casual and the training was tiring.
When I am in situations where I am on my very best behaviour for long periods of time I have a tendency to get the giggles.  I didn't, however 2 of my new co-workers  nearly did, 1 after a role play where I was a disgruntled customer called Tom, Tom Jones, I have to say I got a little enthusiastic.
The other co-worker got the giggles because of my face during 'difficult and challenging' bits because....

I looked like this...........
a lot

and, yes, yes I understand exactly what's going on.......
'Why are you on the wrong page?'
Question 'Give me an example of an obstruction in the street?'
Me 'a drunk man'
cue withering look
and in training, trying to be all smart and stuff
 it's all I had

(I looked like this as well)

and on it went, I must say I was completely cacking it,
I will just have to see how I do, I don't think I will break things, cause an international incident or ruin the reputation of a well-established company *fingers crossed* but I will endeavor to dress nicely and press buttons and stuff
First day training, finished at 10pm hence bizarre face

2nd day training, finished at 10pm - I have now hit the bottle

back 2 days later, finished at 9pm
am doing the hokey cokey
Cookie is offended

the least happy/impressed kitten

she is such a princess

I am back on Sunday, where I will be flying solo
answering calls from actual people with actual questions
not wearing casual clothes

see you all soon
you are all quite awesome and wonderful and
it's an absolute delight to have your company

P.S. credit to Mr Foxy for showing me how to copy and paste Father Dougal
he was so patient, bless him, he has cleaned up and has done a better job than me
and I demand photo's and technology things
he's a hottie indeed

Tuesday, 3 September 2013

Paloma Faith I ain't

Phew! I am far too old for parties.
Eldest had her 19th which was lovely, I started cleaning at mid-day and at mid-night I sat down.  As I was flagging at about 10pm I switched from Pimm's (well, blag Pimm's called Austin's from Aldi) to wine.
My Mum and Auntie twerked away and did suggestive door dancing, everyone twerks these days it seems, although since I learned the 'slut drop' at Christmas and buggered my knee I have kept away from saucy dancing altogether (I also once battered my pelvis on a bouncy castle, trying to get through a high 'window' that led to a slide, couldn't walk for a few days)

Typical birthday Mum shot, double chin and menstrual swelling - sweet!

Paloma was my inspiration for this outfit

Birthday Girl, My Mum and me awww

Of course, the most wonderful girls, I have missed  a few (sorry).  One very special one is going to Nottingham, we are going to miss her.

Grim, grim grim
I eventually took 2 days to 'get over it', I was blooming knackered!

The school run started today, honestly, I don't stop!
well, I say that
but I am a little on the lazy/idle side
so there have been essential nana naps and such
ya know, to help
oh, and coffee

I have fixed my chazza bag from Wales,
  as I destroy bag handles I have tried to give her a little support, I have installed firm gusseting for her,
I do know the importance of a firm gusset

I have to go my lovelies
I start training today, 
I need to get ready, and look fancy

see you soon